Byebye, Blogspot.

     I actually considered skipping school today. Woke up and was like, "mmm, nope." I think I'm gonna make this post a serious one, so if you don't like that, feel free to just read other posts of mine. c: Now, srs tiem. My relationship just keeps getting worse. Well, from my end. With each passing day, I trust Jase less and less all because of mistakes he's made in the past. (in other relationships) His ex is a very very good friend of mine, and has been telling me things that startle me. Normally, when Jase tells me things like, "I'm going out with friends," or, "My parents are taking my phone away," or, "My phone wouldn't charge," I wouldn't bat an eyelid. I trusted him, yeah. But not now. My friend, his ex, told me, and I quote, "I was suspicious, so I called him. A girl answered and said they'd had some fun at his house. When I asked him about it, he claimed it was his sister. Um. His sister doesn't live with them." At which point, I asked Jase if he had a sister. My heart sank when he easily lied and said, "Nope." I don't know who to believe. He tells me the exact same stuff he told her. I'm scared, alone, and just..tired. Physically and emotionally. I don't know how much more I can take. There are so many things I'm already battling..an unsupportive family, failing grades, and a steady decline in friends.

     But whatever. I'll keep going. I'll keep living the oblivious lie that Jase wants me to. And when the time comes, I'll confront him, then finally..I'll just..leave. Back to being alone in a life that's spiraling downward. Yeah, this post is dark and depressing. (like the golden days of yore.) But I do remember warning you. Congrats if you could stomach this post thus far. There shouldn't be any more..um.."dark" posts until the day we um.. :I yeah, break it off. Then I'll write a post bashing on him. (call me a bitter ex, but there are a lot of reasons for me to bash on him, like, now.) I feel better now that I got it out. (considering the fact that I haven't called him out yet) Now that just leaves me with two prominent emotions: tiredness and sorrow. Yes. Sorrow, still. I think it's embedded in me now. There really isn't anything to be happy about. I can't trust anyone. Except, maybe, my family. But, as I said, very unsupportive.

     See, my lovelies? I'm not as happy as my posts lead you to believe. Truth is, I'm the most miserable person I know. But don't pity me, I don't want that. I wrote this simply because keeping it bottled up was making me hurt even more. Now all of you know. And, somehow, that comforts me. I don't think I'll be posting for a while. A long while. (if I do, it'd be random, boring summaries of my day) I'm sorry if this disappoints any of you. But Mama needs time to herself. Time to be alone with her thoughts. Until then, goodbye, my lovelies. Stay beautiful. Adeau~