WHY ISN'T ANYONE POSTING?

Jenn hurr. I suppose it's my fault that the blog stats are going down. ._. BUT ANYWAY. I'm blogging early because I can't later on, and during my usual blog posting time, I have a presentation to demonstrate...well, me. I'm so nervous, I'm gonna puke. Not really. But maybe. NYEHHH. Why did I have to be a Spade? Note: we were divided into three catagories: Diamond, Heart, and Spade. We had to draw a card from a deck, and I pulled out Spade. I cheated a bit. I wanted to get Spade because someone else *cough cough* had Spade, and I figured it was a group project. I saw the Spade on the bottom of the deck and chose it, thinking I'd get to work with that someone. (this isn't a crush, by the way. ew wat.) Anyway, when I realized it was solo and we'd have to present, I wanted to vomit. I'd rather kick a toddler than present in front of the class. I'll get all clammy, and probably vomit. (lots of vomiting, eh? do I sense a new fetish?)

The teacher just announced that we'll have 25 minutes to prepare. I already did. Like 50 times. You don't even understand how much of an anxiety attack I'm having. I hate getting in front of people with information about me. Like, I hate presenting by myself, and I hate sharing information about me. Combine the two and it won't take long for me to "nope" the fuck out of there. My heart is pounding; I can hear it in my ears. I doubt I'll go first, but still. I couldn't sleep last night because of the anxiety, and now I'm exhausted, so I'll probably stumble over my words. Great. I'm fucking terrified. The only thing that'll calm me down would be to see someone's presentation be worse than mine. -squeal- 20 minutes. Damn, I wrote all that in five minutes? o.o I am terrified. Can't stop typing. Talking. Er.. see? This'll be what happens when I get up there. Mumbling to myself, rambling about nothing. Jeez, I'm a bonified dumbass. Oh god, oh god, oh god. I wonder if I break down sobbing if she'll still make me present. At this point, I'd try it.

AAAAAAH. 15 MINUTES. WHATTHEFUCK. I'm gonna count it down. 14 minutes. -internal bleeding- 13 minutes. I can't breathe. Oh shit, everyone will have the chance to present today because of EOC testing. The period will be extended over 30 minutes. I'm seriously going to cry. 12 minutes. I can't take it. I'm about to explode. Everyone else seems so calm. Well, I guess I do, too, since I'm not doing anything. Haven't started trembling yet. 11 minutes. My legs are starting to, like, do that shaking thing you do when you're impatient. I know you know what I'm talking about. The thing. 10 minutes. Oh lord, please give me strength enough not to make an ass of myself. Please, oh please, oh please. 9 minutes. My body is seizing up. Like, my muscles are tightening and my arms are twitching. Jesus, this is horrible. And after I'm done, I'll be like, "OH IT WAS NO BIG DEAL," 8 minutes. But at the moment, it's a big fucking deal. I'm praying that someone else goes up there and fucks up. 7 minutes. I have no choice but to go, and I don't want to be the only one that fucks up. I have to present. 6 minutes. 5 minutes. (had to resave my powerpoint. ._.") Who am I kidding? I'll take a zero for this assignment. Well, I would. But I'd fail the class and have to take it again. 4 minutes. The teacher's getting ready. Turning her computer on, unlocking it, hooking up the class flash drive. I thought I was ready, but I'm not. 3 minutes. Oh god. I hope we go in order of how we signed up, and not by last name. I'd be one of the first ones to present. (last name starts with S, the others in my group are S through W.) 2 minutes. WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE SO CALM? 1 minute. I'm gonna end this post here after time is called. I hope things go well. Until tomorrow, stay beautiful, my lovelies. Adieu.~